Chlamydia - Have You Got It?

Question

Dear Captain Chlamydia,

I’ve always wanted a super power, I think that would be awesome, but I don’t know which would be best, C-vision like you, or flying like David Blaine, is it hard to learn how to spot Chlamydia? Because I’ve heard it’s pretty easy to fly like David Blaine!

Thanks! Natalie, Basingstoke

Answer

Hi Natalie,

What a great question! C-vision isn’t something you can learn I’m afraid, I was born with a genetic mutation which not only allows me to see Chlamydia, but also means I can never catch it myself. Scientists are baffled by the powers I possess, but one thing they are sure about is that I didn’t get it because my mother had Chlamydia when I was born, in fact that would be the worst thing she could have done! Chlamydia can increase the risk of Ectopic pregnancy, of the baby being born early, or developing an eye or chest infection after birth.

The reason C-vision is such an amazing power is that for most people Chlamydia will be completely invisible with no symptoms at all, so even if you train really hard at spotting Chlamydia, you won’t be able to see it the majority of times, that’s why, if I’m not around to use my C-vision, you need to have a test with every new partner or every year otherwise!

As for David Blaine, as far as I’m aware his ability to fly is not due to any sort of genetic mutation or superpower, but to showmanship and misdirection. Captain Chlamydia would never rely on such tricks, which is why C-vision is so much better.

Thanks for your question Natalie, I’m now a-going Chlamydia hunting!

Captain Chlamydia